Unicorn and Hourglass – Subconscious Desire for Feminization

Unicorn and Hourglass

  • Title: Unicorn and Hourglass
  • Subtitle: Subconscious Desire for Feminization
  • Author: Yu Sakurazawa
  • Transgender Category: MTF

Leon Thomas, a 20 year old physics undergraduate, is harangued by a recurring dream of a small pink round circle with an equilateral cross beneath it. After the repetitive dream develops an extension,  Leon goes and meets Naomi, a beautiful young psychic. Leon feels an instant attraction towards Naomi. She also feels drawn to him. After employing a series of psychic techniques, mainly the tarot card reading, Naomi divulges that Leon’s recurring dream symbolizes his subconscious desire to be female.


Leon Thomas/Lynette: is the 20 year old protagonist of the story. He is 5’8, has sandy brown hair, kindly grey eyes and a sexily askew mouth. Leon is a ‘regular’ guy who likes his drink, soccer and revels in robust male company. As a man of science, he is skeptical of the paranormal.

However, a recurring dream harangues him enough to seek the help of a psychic called Naomi. Drawn to Naomi’s physical and spiritual beauty, Leon falls in love. A series of psychic techniques employed by Naomi, mainly the tarot card reading divulges that in his deep, innate subconscious, Leon desires to be female. Leon is skeptical at first, but soon discovers that Naomi’s reading is accurate.

Naomi Ito: is the protagonist’s psychic who eventually goes on to become his lover. Naomi is a beautiful petite (5’3) 25 year old woman with clear dark eyes, a smooth face, delicate features and long luxuriant black hair. She has a stunning smile and even pomegranate-like teeth.

Naomi is a law graduate with a gift of the occult acquired after a near-death experience in childhood. She eventually quits her job at a law firm to become a full-time psychic. Naomi’s dabbling with the occult doesn’t go down well with her husband, Jose, who, after an attempt to strangulate Naomi, lands in jail.

When Naomi meets Leon, she feels an instant erotic-spiritual connection with him. Using an array of psychic techniques, mainly the tarot card reading, Naomi discovers that Leon’s recurring dream reveals his subconscious desire to be female.

Emily Marin: is Leon’s childhood friend. She is a tall, gorgeous blonde with sea green eyes. When Leon confides that he is haunted by the recurring dream and its extension, a concerned Emily refers him to Naomi, a renowned psychic. Emily soothes Leon’s skepticism by illustrating an instance when she herself benefitted as a result of a psychic remedy suggested by Naomi. After Naomi interprets Leon’s dream as a subconscious desire to be female, Emily becomes skeptical of her predictions.




Unicorn and Hourglass

Chapter 1 – The Recurring Dream

It was sultry and drizzling like usual. The night turned a deeper, more mysterious black. I tossed restlessly in my slumber. There it was again, sitting in the periphery of my sleep and wakefulness: the symbol. A small round pink circle with an equilateral cross beneath. As the symbol danced swirled and gyrated, my eyelids fluttered. Of course, I knew it was a lucid dream, but it was impossible to get away from it. It had frequented me repeatedly over the past year and I was beginning to get rather weary of it.

It was, by no means, a scary dream. Just repetitive, persuasive and leech-like.

I woke up and sat up in my sleeveless white banyan and striped jockey shorts. The guys I shared my bachelor’s pad with, Ben Hayashi and Tony Gonzalez, were already up, getting ready for soccer practice. Damn! The stupid dream had me late again. I couldn’t curse it enough.

I exchanged a high-five with the two boys as was our custom. ‘We need you out there, boss’ said the darkly handsome Gonzales ‘please don’t bail out on us’.

‘Well, I am not sure I’ll make it on time’ I said groaning ‘You guys carry on. And Hayashi, remember to shoot wide rather than high’.

‘Aye, Aye captain’ replied Hayashi, his eyes, tanned brown face and every spike of his straight needle-like hair, earnest.

The boys turned to go. Just when they had got to the patio, Gonzalez turned back and asked:

‘Was it the dream again?’

I sighed and nodded. The boys knew that I had a repetitive dream; a dream that made me break into cold sweat and evoke all curses I had in my repertoire, but I hadn’t told them the actual substance of it. I just didn’t feel comfortable enough. Thankfully, the guys didn’t prod.

At this point, I realized what a lucky man I was to have these two boys as chums. As I stripped and walked down to the bathroom, I realized that I was fortunate in more ways than one. At 5’8, I may not have been the tallest boy in Alabama, but I was certainly the most handsome one. I had a beautiful tanned well-toned body, with sinewy arms, legs and a torso that tapered down and melded perfectly with the groin region. My hair was sandy brown, eyes ‘a kindly grey’, nose a little too flat for conventional beauty and a sexily askew mouth. Personality-wise, I thought of myself as a “manly” guy; one who could score a goal, loved his drink and robust male company. I had always had a secret aversion to anything remotely girlish touching me. Once when I was asleep, my childhood friend Emily had varnished my toes with a seductive crimson and I had woken up, baying like a blood hound. I wouldn’t rest until I had rubbed that darn thing off my toes, with a piece of cotton and nail paint remover. The sight of the godforsaken thing peeling off in bloodied layers, revealing my natural inwardly curled white nails brought me a sense of relief I couldn’t describe. Yes, I couldn’t rest until the last clinging hues of femininity were wiped off me.

There was another instance in which my Gonzalez and Hayashi had dragged me to a queer bar, where a guy dressed as a girl was strutting his stuff on stage. He had, in a moment of inspiration, decided to sway down and perch himself on my lap. The sight of his low-cut dress designed to exhibit virtually non-existent cleavage, the hideous blond wig pulled down his lantern like face, his fluttering fake-eye lashes and lethal six inch stilettos had me quite freaked out. There were a few female cross-dressers too, all bound and packed. They sported crew cuts, dressed in men’s shirts and trousers and sloshed down one drink after another. I didn’t understand all this new stuff about fluidity of genders or, for that matter, homosexuality. For me there were only two genders, the male and the female, and each was attracted to the opposite.

Dressed in khaki trousers, a navy blue top, and sneakers, I headed straight to the physics lab. My lab partner and best buddy from childhood, Emily Marin was already there, conducting an experiment with a laser. Emily was a tall, gorgeous blonde with sea green eyes, but I had never felt sexually attracted to her. Last year, Emily had suggested we start dating, but I had refused. It was hardly possible to go out with someone whom you loved as a sister. Emily had appreciated the honesty. After that one time, she had never broached the topic. Thankfully, the incident hadn’t created any awkwardness between us.

Presently, Emily glanced at my haggard, sleep-deprived face. She immediately knew. ‘The circle with the handle bothering you again?’ she asked in a grim voice.

I shrugged to indicate a ‘Yes, you’re right’.

‘O Leon…’ Emily’s face was beseeching ‘Why don’t you take my advice for once, and go and see Naomi?’.

‘Who?’ I sniggered contemptuously ‘that mumbo-jumbo woman?’

‘Naomi is an incredibly talented psychic and I’ve told you that’ said Emily with her mouth set in an angry line. She glowered at me from behind those magnificent sea green eyes ‘For Christ sake Leon, drop that attitude’.

‘It isn’t an attitude’ I said getting argumentative in turn ‘It’s called being rational. I am a man who studies matter and its motion through space and time. I buy a theory only if it is validated by objective observations and repeated experimentations. Frankly speaking, as a woman of science, so should you!’.

‘I was like you until last year’ Emily burst out ‘until I couldn’t cope with the host of problems that I was drowning in. Naomi did a reading of my horoscope and told me that my struggles were due to Mars and Mercury being aligned in the same planetary line. She suggested a remedy and lo! my problems were soon history!’

‘That’s great, babe. But it was a fluke!’

‘Tell me, tell me, Leon’ said Emily in an impassioned tone ‘what did people in the olden days think an eclipse was?’

‘They interpreted it as a sign from the Gods’.

‘Exactly’ said Emily ‘And what do we know it as today?’

‘Well, we understand it as phenomena of either a planet or a star passing in front of the sun or the moon’.

‘There you are!’ said Emily clapping her hand as if to prove a point ‘Just because people of yore didn’t know what the eclipse was, they didn’t dismiss it. And that it responsible for our complete understanding of it today. It’s the same with paranormal phenomena. Just because we don’t understand it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist’.

‘Ha!’ I snorted incredulous ‘Are you suggesting it comes within the realm of science?’

‘I very much am’ said Emily defiantly, before turning back to her telescope.

The night brought about a restless culmination to the peaceful waking day. Lured by the sultriness of Alabama, I feel into a feverish slumber. Soon the thoughts of my subconscious took me to a forest, lush with foliage. Sparse sunlight that penetrated the trees reflected off olive green leaves and dappled the ground. There it was, beneath a tree, leaning comfortably against the bark: the symbol. The haunting pink symbol, with an equilateral cross extended beneath it like a handle. As I tossed and turned restively, the persistent symbol transmuted into a shapely hour-glass dribbling sand from its upper compartment to the lower. With an irrational certainty that occurs only in dreams, I knew I was the hourglass. Just then, a unicorn, white and petite as a floating cloud, came towards me and caressed her scrolled horn against my body gently and erotically. As I caressed the whorled horn, I knew with unsurpassed certainty that I loved her more passionately and deeply than I had ever loved anyone. There was a rustling among the leaves, indicating the presence of an intruder. I instinctively knew he was someone who was bubbling with uncontainable rage and jealously. Before I could react, the assailant arched his bow and released an arrow, aiming it straight at my lover. As the arrow pierced the unicorn’s heart, she gasped. The legs beneath her soon turned into a gelatinous mass. She fell down dead. As red blood gushed off her white body, I was seized with ineffable grief. Slowly, inexplicably, I–the hourglass, turned into a liquid, circumfluous mass before disintegrating into nothingness….

The dream had a profoundly disturbing influence on me. While the other dream had irked me like a dull nagging headache, this one made me dysfunctional. I couldn’t concentrate on lab, lectures, soccer or golf anymore. The dream also haunted my waking consciousness. It barged in repeatedly in front of my eyes in the form of flashes. The dream became so vivid during my waking hours that I’d have visions of actually transforming into the hour-glass, feeling unbelievably aroused when the unicorn sensually rubbed herself against me. My heart would flood with a metaphysical romantic love and devotion, almost bordering on worship. I would feel ineffably frightened at the prospect of the treacherous concealed hunter looking at my beloved murderously. Then the deathly poisoned arrow would come flitting past, piercing her heart. My love’s heart. My beloved’s heart! My Goddess’s heart! Oh! Such was the grief, such was the agony that it caused me, that I would turn into a dribbling weeping mess in the midst of whatever I was doing or wherever I was: at the bus stop, in the class room, at the physics lab or in my apartment that I shared with the other guys.

The strain showed in my physical appearance too. I, who was 175 pounds lost a significant amount of weight. My previously well-fitting clothes, hung loosely on my emaciated frame. Lack of nutrition and sleep rendered my face thin and haggard. I had dark circles under my eyes. I had also given up dressing in the natty sharp style in which I used to and languished in a pair of worn-out slacks and a t-shirt that had seen better days. My usually neat dark brown hair looked as if a tornado had swept through it.

People showed incredulousness at the champion of the college behaving in a sissy manner. Emily, my loyal understanding friend, tried to speak to me, but I avoided her. Not that I meant to be rude, but there was an obstacle that prevented me from discussing my feelings. Gonzalez and Hayashi tried to talk to me, but I wouldn’t open up to them either. Concerned, they tried to phone my parents. As usual, there was no response. Mom and dad had always been careless, emotionally distant parents, and divorce had made it worse. Besides, they didn’t exactly think a man of 20 would be in need of any kind of parental guidance.

Some force in me, the existence of which I was unaware of took me to see Naomi. It happened on impulse, so I didn’t have the time to tell anyone. Nor did I actually feel the inclination to tell anyone. As I passed the numerous houses, I beheld yellow blossoms on forsythia bushes. Purple blossoms and redbud tress flanked me as I drove along the highway. Beautiful red breasted robins were found perched on tree branches. Spring was here. Yet, it was still quite nippy. I had to wipe the frost off my old jalopy before I started the engine and began moving towards Naomi’s house.


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